i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
