I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
