Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
