like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
