This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
