So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
