It's chlamydia! Thank God!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
