Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
