i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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