Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
