I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
