Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
