Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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