big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
