Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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