At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
