I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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