No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
