Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize