I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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