They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
