my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How's work?
Spinning.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
