My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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