people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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