Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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