I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
