Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
