everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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