I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
