I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
