why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize