can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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