just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
