I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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