he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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