Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
