Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
