I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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