weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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