I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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