Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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