come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
