My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
