Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
