I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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