he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
