Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
