Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
