Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
