so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
