i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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