Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
