I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
