wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
