We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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