not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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