Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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