I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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