Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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