Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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