Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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