Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we made out on top of his cat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You ruined the universe
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
